Design your Life: Divorce does not Define You.

Divorce does not define you.

I was divorced in my late twenties, I had two young children and low self-esteem. I had no idea where to start, and I hoped that the process was going to be quick and painless. Lord did I sign up for the wrong dark comedy.

So where did I start? I surrounded myself with supportive people, and those who were also going through a divorce transition, which was a challenge, since I was a trailblazer in this field.

The key was to keep moving, both physically and mentally, and to not be afraid to ask for help.

There were days where I was completely exhausted, overwhelmed and overall burnt out, this kept me stuck. But even in these vulnerable moments I pushed myself to show up in any capacity, so I could be accountable. This is where I found my voice and the belief that I could find my confidence again.

Divorce is not a sentence. It’s a book of many chapters. Trusting the process is critical to change and growth. In other words, if you push yourself towards developing your own self—and not getting caught up in the negative narrative—you can learn to move past your biggest obstacles and end up writing a new, different, and even more beautiful story. 

The challenge for me was to embrace my authentic self so I could show up as my best. By changing my mindset to be more open, I became more self-aware and forgiving of myself and others.

This process took time and perseverance; with baby steps, I gathered my confidence and eventually momentum to start designing my new path in life. This is when I got curious about the possibilities of what a new start would look like. 

This led to one of the most exciting and empowering times in my life. This came from the work that I did internally, by practicing self-love and acceptance daily. As my confidence grew, I noticed the shift in my energy and mindset. If you believe in yourself, other people will too. 

Divorce does not define you. You are the author of your own life; it all starts with you. The change doesn’t happen overnight, but by trusting the process and finding out who you are, the shift can lead you to self- acceptance. I have learned how to re-shape my belief system through my own personal feats. Sometimes the most uncomfortable moments of your life become the lessons you need to become more comfortable with yourself.  

As a Professional Divorce and Transition Recovery Coach, my presence helps facilitate change and creatively direct clients forward towards post-divorce life. Designing your life is about identifying your strengths and core values through self-realization to design a path that is uniquely your own. Together we’ll connect to unpack your barriers to growth, so that you can achieve clarity when developing your visions for your life, with an action plan leading you towards actualization.

How are you showing up for yourself today?